


Reputations

by bendingwind



Category: Protector of the Small - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Canon-Typical Sexism, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 20:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5469248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bendingwind/pseuds/bendingwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times someone worried unnecessarily about Kel’s reputation and her happiness, and one time she didn’t care to do the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reputations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alessandralee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alessandralee/gifts).



> Some lines of Raoul's dialogue were lifted directly from canon, though the content around them has been changed.

**452 HE**

“--and Mithros knows what the girl will get up to, surrounded by young, impressionable boys,” Lord Wyldon finished, scowling at his wife across the small table where they were having dinner in their palace quarters. Training would formally start the following day, and he intended to savor time eating dinner with Vivienne while he could.

“I see,” Vivienne said, looking deeply unimpressed with his tirade as she took another sip of her wine. “A young girl, all of ten years old, surrounded by ten-year-old boys? Think of all the pranks they’ll play on her. Why, if she’s very lucky, some of them might not be afraid of a _girl_ , and might even do schoolwork alongside her.”

Wyldon frowned at her for a moment, and she raised her eyebrow in an obvious challenge. If fifteen years of marriage had taught Wyldon anything, it was that he should stop now, but this was _important._

“You know very well what I worry they will _get up to,_ ” he said, as Vivienne’s eyebrows drew together dangerously. “At the very least, her reputation will be ruined by this.”

“She’s _ten,_ ” his wife said again, with a new, flat tone in her voice that should serve as his final warning. He plowed ahead regardless.

“My experience in these matters is that they start young,” he replied darkly, echoing his earlier sentiments to the girl’s father.

“Our Cathrea is eleven. Are you suggested that she is _starting young?_ Or perhaps she’s an exception, as we both know very well she is more interested in the horses than in boys. But we have two other daughters over the age of ten--surely, if women start so young, one of our daughters must be brewing a scandal even if we speak. The odds are too great. We both know that Sunarine has no… interest, in that regard--so Eiralys must be the one sneaking out at night to visit boys. Or perhaps Cathrea’s love of horses is just a front, to distract us from her illicit affairs. Our _eleven-year-old Cathrea._ ”

Vivienne’s voice was harsh, and Wyldon winced at the image of his sweet little Cathrea, with her red curls and curious blue eyes, _fraternizing._

“We’ve sent them to the convent, as is good and proper. There isn’t anyone for them to cause scandal _with,_ ” he said, because that was the entire point of the convent, after all. Reputations were priceless at court and could seldom be repaired once broken.

“We hosted both the Linsharts and the Plainets last summer, when our daughters were home,” Vivienne retorted coolly, “If you’ll recall, the Linshart lad told Cathrea that she couldn’t ride her mare because it was clearly too big for her. She knocked him into the mud and rode off without waiting for him to even get up.”

Wyldon’s lip twitched, recalling the moment very vividly. He had seldom been so proud of one of his daughters.

“My love, none of our daughters is suited to a knighthood. More importantly, none of them _wanted_ it. That does not mean that this is so for Keladry of Mindelan, whom you have only had the shortest meeting with. You do not know her. She is not like our daughters in her desire to be a knight, but I have little doubt she is very much like them in other ways. If you would not accuse our precious girls of seducing every young man they meet, you cannot accuse this girl of the same, not without just cause. And perhaps you will be proven right--perhaps she will realize that this is not the life for her, and she will leave to join our daughters in the convent. But _you must give her that chance._ ”

“I have a duty--” he began, but Vivienne was apparently out of patience, for she interrupted him immediately by standing and walking around the table. She cupped his cheek with her small hand and looked him in the eyes.

“You _will_ give her a chance. If the gods deem her unfit, or unworthy, or if she causes scandal and distracts the other pages, then we will know that the days of lady knights are over, and the old traditions are not meant to be carried on. But it is not your judgement to make, and _you will give her a fair chance._ ”

Gently, Wyldon grasped her hand and lowered it from his face. “She has her probationary period already, at the king’s order. You do not need to command me.”

“She has probation, yes,” his wife said, still forcing him to meet her eyes. “But the time will come when you may tell her to leave or allow her to stay. The man I married, the man I love, would judge her fairly then and would not presume to decide for the gods what they will.”

With a small, slightly sad smile, she pulled away from him at last.

“I find I am no longer hungry. Come to bed when you are ready, my love,” she said, and she turned and left the room.

* * *

**456 HE**

Tianine Plowman had discovered early on that her mistress’ youngest sister often had extra chores on Sundays and preferred to be alone when she returned from them; therefore, her pretty maid could often be lured out to share mending and sewing in one of the many lovely, secluded alcoves the palace offered. It was a fact she had taken advantage of frequently, in order to spend more time in Lalasa’s company.

Unfortunately, Lalasa’s mistress would soon be a squire, and though Lalasa bashfully denied it, Tian had no doubt she would be leaving to open her own, very successful dressmaking shop when her mistress left to be a squire. It wouldn’t be so hard to slip away and spend time with Lalasa in the city when that happened, but there were other things to be considered.

“My lady says the Nond boy will propose any day now,” she murmured, wondering what Lalasa would think. It wouldn’t be decided for some time yet, but ladies’ maids often followed their mistresses when they married, and it was well known that Merovec of Nond preferred the country to the court.

Lalasa must have been thinking along the same lines.

“Do you think you’ll go with your lady, when she leaves?” she asked softly. Tian loved her voice: soft and slightly husky and absolutely lovely.

Tian shrugged. “Best not to worry about that yet. It will be some time before they marry, even after it’s finalized. Perhaps next year. I imagine they’ll both remain at court in the meantime.”

Lalasa hummed agreeably, and Tian shifted so that their shoulders touched. Lalasa looked up and smiled at her, quickly, before returning to the complicated sleeves of the queen’s new gown.

Feeling briefly guilty for distracting Lalasa from her work, Tian felt silent, but after awhile she couldn’t help but add-- “I imagine they’ll want you to do the dress when they do marry, though. You do such lovely work.” 

She ran her finger along the delicate seam Lalasa had just stitched to emphasize her point. Lalasa smiled at her again, shy this time.

“Do you think so?”

“My lady loves your gowns. She insists that no one, not even me, can make her look as amazing. Lady Oranie feels the same. My lady’s family only has two more daughters to marry off; I’m sure they’ll pay for any gown their daughters want.”

Tian didn’t realize she’d misstepped until Lalasa pulled away, her expression confused and slightly hurt.

“You forget my lady,” she said, a hint of a question in her voice.

“I only meant--” Tian started, but stopped, unsure how to proceed. She had not counted the youngest, plainest Mindelan daughter amongst those children the Mindelans might be trying to marry off.

“You don’t think Lady Kel will marry?” Lalasa demanded, her confusion shifting rapidly towards the hurt Tian had seen before, and something that Tian had _never_ witnessed in the her soft-spoken friend-- anger.

“I.. she’s training to be a knight, I assumed…”

“The Lioness is married,” Lalasa said, voice flat. She would not meet Tian’s eyes.

“But that’s different!” Tian said, unsure whether she meant because the Lioness had a fiery sort of prettiness that Kel did not, or because the Lioness was special, a Goddess-chosen hero, different from normal women, even ones who were training to be knights.

Tian wisely decided to stop speaking before she made things even worse.

Lalassa stood, shaking her gown out with brisk hands and leaning down to gather her sewing supplies and return them to their basket.

“I’m sorry,” she said, still not looking at Tian. “I’ve forgotten that I promised my lady I would press her uniform for the trials tomorrow. I’m afraid I have to go.”

Tian, who had seen the uniform spread smoothly across the clothes press when she had come to collect Lalasa, sighed.

“Lalasa, I didn’t mean--”

At that, Lalasa looked at her. 

“You meant exactly that,” she said, quietly, and she gathered her belongings and marched down the hall.

Tian leaned back against the cold stone of the alcove wall and wished she could take back the last half-hour entirely.

* * *

**457 HE**

This was not, Raoul thought as he stepped back and allowed the tent flap to fall silently into place, going according to plan. All he had wanted was to ask Kel how, exactly, her name had ended up on the lists for tomorrow; instead, now they were going to have to have a _talk._ Something a lot like dread settled into the base of his belly.

With a sigh, he took another step back and called out, “Kel?”

He gave them until the count of thirty to make themselves presentable so that everyone could survive this encounter with their dignity intact, and then he opened the flap again.

The bid redheaded boy was sitting on the cot feeding the birdies, and Kel was fixing the griffin’s feathers. If the flap separating Kel’s tend from the camp had been open, and they hadn’t both been vivid shades of embarrassed red, it might almost have looked innocent.

“It’s Cleon of Kennan, isn’t it?” Raoul asked the boy, though he knew very well who he was. He kept a wary eye on Kel’s friends, just in case. The boy nodded, looking rather like a scared rabbit for such a big lad.

And because Raoul was nothing if not a terrible, terrible man, he couldn’t resist teasing a little.

“Aren’t you two hot with the flap closed?” he asked, as nonchalantly as he could manage, before remembering why he had come in the first place. “Kel, someone put your name on the boards for tilting tomorrow.”

“That’s right,” Kel replied. She moved to open the tent flap, and not for the first time, Raoul was proud of how very unflappable his squire was. He would have frozen completely if his own knight master had caught him and then teased him about it. She gave him the usual excuse--philosophical differences--while the boy continued to very steadfastly not meet Raoul’s gaze. Never had a man or boy been so absorbed in the feeding of sparrows.

Resisting the urge to chuckle, Raoul decided it was time to bow out.

“Well, come into my tent when you have a moment,” he said. He was sure he was successfully keeping a very straight face, and was quite proud of himself for it. “We’ve some points to discuss.”

He took a step back and, unable to resist, added a very somber “Kennan,” before slipping back into his tent.

He still had to talk to Kel about what people might think, though. The thought sucked all of the mirth out of him, and he sat heavily in front of his camp desk and ran a hand through his hair.

Just last week, he’d nearly punched a man who had called Buri “a whore, sleeping with that Goldenlake fool so that he doesn’t shut her gods-cursed operation down”. Unfortunately, Raoul was too aware of the damage his fist could do to an unarmored face, and he’d had to settle for knocking the man brutally off his horse in the jousting ring.

In the last year alone, Buri had lost two promising young commanders, both women, who were unwilling to bear the mockery and scorn they had received when their romantic entanglements were discovered. It would be worse for Kel, with so much attention already on her and so many eyes watching, desperately, for her to stumble.

A man might be allowed a private life, safe from the scrutiny of his peers, but no woman--especially not one as talented and contentious as his young squire--would receive the same respect. If _he_ had caught on… well, she would have to end it, or else learn how to be more careful. He could do his best to shield her from the consequences--to her reputation, to her family, and to her own knighthood--but he could not save her if she was unwilling.

And _gods_ , but he hoped she had someone to talk to about the… about the _physical_ bits of relationships. It was bad enough with the boys. The thought alone was enough to make him want a drink.

With a sigh, he retrieved a pitcher of juice instead and sat down at the table to wait for Kel. He had a feeling, from the quiet giggle and the rustle of tent fabric faintly audible from his position, that it wouldn’t be too long.

* * *

**462 HE**

Ever since Yuki had returned to court from the small fortified town where her husband and friend were serving, she and the princess had developed a habit of spending the afternoons in one of the smaller royal solars, visiting while they practiced various quiet arts that claimed their interest. Shinko was nearing an advanced stage of pregnancy, and although it was too soon for Yuki to announce anything, she was happy to fill her time more relaxing hobbies as well.

“Lady Yukimi… might I venture a very forward thought?” Shinko asked in yamani. Yuki, with whom Shinko had long since been informal and who rarely conversed with the princess in their own language, raised an eyebrow. It must be very dire, or very secret.

“We are not often formal with each other,” Yuki replied in the same language, deliberately omitting any of the honorifics she might have used. Shinko gave her a small, pleased smile.

“Is… I worry sometimes, because we are both married, and Kel does not even have a lover. Of course I cannot spend time with her now, when she is away on the king’s business and I am… here, for the foreseeable future, but I feel as if we have left her out somehow. I worry that she is lonely. Is that foolish? You have seen her more recently than I--what do you think of the state of her happiness?”

Yuki paused, thinking. It was a well-considered question, and it deserved an answer in kind-- not one of the dozen flippant, teasing answers that sprung into her mind.

“I do not think that Kel is unhappy,” she said, finally. “She has many things, and people, to occupy her time. Of course she has Neal, and she is good friends with the man in charge of security. She has made friends among the refugees she commands, as well, and…” here Yuki could not quite prevent a small, amused smile from creeping onto her face. She thought Shinko would probably forgive her for the rudeness when she heard, “if you can imagine it, she’s raising a small gaggle of children. She kept having to check in on them, to make sure they were not being ignored or stinted on their share of rations, and finally she took them in herself. They live in her headquarters, train with her every morning, and follow her around like baby ducks every second that they’re not busy at chores.”

Shinko, too, seemed unable to stop a small smile from creeping onto her face, and then she giggled. Yuki looked down so that she would not also start giggling.

“She always did have to mother everyone,” Shinko said, her voice full of fond amusement. “But… there is no one she, well, loves? It is not… do you think she prefers the company of women? At home this would not have been a problem, but I understand that they frown on such relationships on this side of the Emerald Ocean?”

Shinko wrinkled her nose in distaste. Yuki understood--too many westerners were too dear to her to voice how barbaric she found this practice, and indeed those she loved agreed--but truly it was monstrous to condemn someone for the gender of the person they chose to share their heart and their bed with.

“I believe she prefers the company of men,” Yuki said, “Neal insists that she and one of the boys they studied with were lovers for a time, though he’s never known for certain. And there can be very little doubt based on her face when we encountered some of the King’s Own men in the practice yard last summer that men do, at least, interest her. It was very warm, and they had removed their shirts.” Another small smile creeps up Yuki’s face at the memory. “I believe she simply has not had _time_ for such pursuits.”

Shinko hummed her understanding.

“I… I suppose it is only that I am very happy, and I would like her to be also. She helped so much, when I first arrived and I did not know how to talk to Roald, or who he would want me to be. I do not know how long it might have taken, without her help, for me to realize that he was very happy with who I already was.”

Yuki nodded her understanding. “If Kel had not been the one to introduce me to Neal, I would have hit him with my fan, and I would not be so happy now.” Again, her lips twitch up at the memory. Her first encounter with Neal had been just shy of a total disaster.

“I hear that some Tortallan men find concussions very charming,” Shinko quipped, and the two of them dissolved into helpless, if impolite, giggles.

When they had worn out their laughter and Shinko had begun her calligraphy again, adding two perfectly-formed characters to her thin sheet of paper, she continued.

“It is only… Kel takes so much care for those around her, and she has brought the people in her life a great deal of happiness. I wish there was a means by which I could return the favor.”

Yuki thought back to her husband’s blue-eyed cousin, who seemed in particular to have caught Kel’s eye that fateful afternoon, and a plan began to form.

“Cricket,” she said, using Shinko’s childhood nickname as she did only when she had an idea so far beyond the bounds of polite behavior that even Shinko’s informal nickname was too heavy, “I think I have an idea.”

* * *

**467 HE**

Evening found George looking at his wife across their dining room table and mulling over the fact that she could still, after all this time, surprise him.

“Lass, I know you wouldn’t ask me to use the kingdom’s resources just because there’s one single thing you don’t know about your Keladry of Mindelan,” he said, when Alanna only continued to look at him expectantly.

“By the time I was her age we were married and had Thom! Aly’s got _three_ children, and she’s years younger!”

“The last ten years have seen little but war,” George pointed out. “She was in command of that refugee fort for six years. Hard to go courtin’ when you’re in command of all the people you see on a regular basis. She probably didn’t have many friends outside of your squire and his wife, and she’s been on the road much of the time since they retired her post there.”

“Goddess knows I wouldn’t wish my _former_ squire on anyone, even if he weren’t happily married,” Alanna agreed, and he could tell that he was starting to cheer her into a better frame of mind to approach this topic. Alanna needed her Projects, and George didn’t want to see the kingdom go down in flames if his fiery wife chose poor Lady Keladry’s love life as her next Project.

“One of her other page friends, that redheaded Hollyrose lad, was there as well, if I recall correctly,” Alanna said suddenly, a glint in her eye. George sighed. More work was needed, clearly. “I’m sure he’s a decent sort. What do you know about _him?_ ”

“Off the top of my head, nothing, but lass…” George reached across the table and tugged a lock of her red hair. It was longer, and greyer, than it had been. 

“Some of us just take longer to find where we’re meant to be. She’s still a good three years younger than _I_ was when we married, even if she’s older than you were. She’s busy, she’s doing good, she’s showing the world that women can fight and be knights, whether Goddess-touched or not. What more do you want from her?”

Alanna looked sulky, which George took to be a good sign. When she got that way, there was a good chance he had talked her out of a bad idea, even if she wasn’t happy about it. It was also a very endearing sort of look, and he found himself sporting an embarrassingly soft smile.

Slowly, Alanna began to return his smile, sheepishly.

“Alright, alright, it’s none of my business. I just… I want her to be happy. It was so hard for her, and she did so well, better than I could have dreamed. When she fights in those tournaments…” Alanna sighed, happily. “I only changed the world because the Goddess guided me and used me as a tool. Keladry… Keladry did it all on her own.”

George walked around the table to press a kiss to his wife’s forehead.

“Let her find her own happiness then, lass. You can be sure she will.”

Alanna smiled back up at him and reached up to run a hand through his own hair, which was also greyer than it had been. 

Slowly, her soft smile morphed into a slightly wicked grin.

“Three years,” she announced, “three years, and then I’m getting involved with or without your help.”

George laughed aloud and scooped her up. Maybe if he distracted her enough she would forget the plan entirely.

* * *

**474 HE**

Kel was not hiding, at all. She definitely had not picked this out-of-the-way guard station on the palace walls to sit and watch the royal road, waiting for their horses to appear, because she didn’t want her friends to see how excited she was and guess at what was going on.

_Two years._

It was the longest they had been apart if you didn’t count the very early days, when nothing had yet been said and they were just… writing letters. Like friends did. Really, really close friends, who found excuses to spend time together when they were in the same place, to brush against each other, who tried to pretend they couldn’t see each other’s easy blushes or nervous, bitten lips.

And it wasn’t… it wasn’t a _secret_ precisely. It was just that an affair between someone with his position and the first female knight to openly earn her shield in Tortall would bring them both attention they didn’t want. 

It also, Kel strongly suspected, had a lot to do with avoiding the _years_ of teasing they were sure to receive from Neal.

Finally, she saw a glint on the horizon. After perhaps ten minutes, she was able to make out the banner, and a wide grin spread across her face as she recognized the insignia of the Third Company of the King’s Own.

She dashed down the stairs, slipping through little-used side passages to get to the Own’s practice yard, where she hovered just out of sight. Hopefully, she could snatch him away before anyone noticed he was missing, and they could spend some well-earned time catching up. The nice thing about his being Captain, they had discovered, was that he had other people to take care of his belongings.

Her heart fell as Neal and Yuki arrived in the courtyard with their daughter, doubtless having heard the news and eager to greet their cousin after his long absence. She loved them dearly, but…

She sighed and stepped out of her hiding place.

“Aunt Kel!” the little girl shrieked, dark hair flying behind her as she ran into her adopted aunt’s arms.

“Hello,” Kel said, grinning as she picked her godsdaughter up and swung her around. Their older daughter would be with the pages, and the baby would probably be sleeping, watched over by his nurse. 

“Have you been good while I was gone?” she asked, propping the girl on her hip. She caught sight of Tobe, headed to the stables to receive the horses, and waved. He waved back and winked. He had known nearly from the start, because Tobe somehow always seemed to know all of her secrets.

“I saw you at dinner _yesterday,_ ” the little girl said, giggling and squirming to be put back down. Kel obliged, as her parents finally caught up with their daughter.

“She’s very excited to see her Cousin Dom,” Yuki said, solemnly. Neal tried, and failed, to keep a straight face.

“Does she even remember him?” Kel asked, surprised. Dom had not been at the palace at the same time as Neal’s young family for four of the girl’s five years of life.

“Not at all,” Neal said, grinning widely. “But she has this godsmother, you see, who keeps telling her about her heroic Cousin Dom and how he once saved her from evil carpenters…”

Kel punched him gently in the shoulder, as the girl scrambled around their feet, muttering something that was both very unintelligible and very exciting-sounding.

Kel looked up at the sound of horses, just as the little girl tugged on her tunic and asked, “Kel, if I summon a dragon do you think Cousin Dom could fight it?”

Kel stared down at her, entirely unprepared to answer a question of that magnitude _(summon a dragon???)_ when Dom rode into the courtyard, followed by his men.

There was the new scar he had written about, smaller than she had feared but still perilously close to his eye. He’d cut his hair shorter, and held one of his arms like it pained him. His eyes found hers almost immediately, and the relieved look in them--well, Kel thought with something like resignation as she strode up to where he was dismounting, they would have found out sooner or later.

He turned just in time for her to wrap her arms around him and press her lips against his. After all of a half-second of frozen surprise, his hand came up to tangle in her short hair and he pulled her even more tightly against him.

She absolutely could not have said how long they kissed for, but she finally pulled away. He clung to her even more tightly, burying his head in her neck.

“Missed you,” he said, for her ears alone, while her godsdaughter’s excited squealing and the catcalls of his men finally reached Kel’s ears.

Then, “We are never going to live this down, I hope you know that,” he added, but he sounded very, very happy about it for someone distraught over the teasing he was about to be subjected to.

Kel sniffed. “Neal can tease me when he learns to eat his vegetables like an adult,” she replied, and Dom laughed and finally let her go.

“I guess I should go say hello,” he said, still looking only at her.

“It seems polite,” she replied.

Finally, he looked up at his cousin, but his hand came down to grab hers, and she followed alongside him as he went to say his hellos.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear alessandralee,
> 
> I hope you enjoy this! I think you would rather have had something focusing more heavily on her life after Lady Knight, but it turns out I am incapable of writing epilogue fic under 50k words, give or take, and I worried that it wouldn't be fair to dump this huge fic that may or may not jive with your headcanon on you as a yuletide gift.
> 
> Also, I ran out of time to write it :|
> 
> I hope you're happy with your gift regardless!


End file.
